Judging

“Don’t be nitpickers; use your head—and heart!—to discern what is right, to test what is authentically right.” John 7:24

Happy Mother’s Day! I hope that you each enjoyed the day and were reminded of the joy that God has given you through motherhood. I actually caught a nap today! That was after I judged which dessert looked best at the restaurant! I guess the author is right that judging has caught a bad rap. We are always told not to judge, but what about when we need to judge. Which dress looks best for the event? Which is your healthiest option at the vending machine? Is this playground too high for your little one? There are even times you need to judge other people. Should I walk alone by that crowd of men? Is it okay to let that woman hold my child? (You know you’ve had strangers ask!) Do I really trust this cab driver on this side of town?

You can’t spend your life worrying about everyone, but split judgments of character could save your life. Nitpicking, however, will not. For example, your child will never be perfect. He or she will make a scene at the store, demand to wear a superman cape or tutu to church, or flat out refuse to say hello to the nice man in line. That is when you have to choose what is important. What is shaping your child’s character? For me, I don’t mind Parker picking out something crazy to wear, but I do want him to have manners and speak when spoken to.

As for judging others, we all do it. We just need to make an effort to correct ourselves when we are judging out of jealousy or annoyance. I really wish I had beautiful hair, so I have started admiring the pretty hair around me. I once would have found something critical to think to make myself feel prettier than that person. And I am quick to say ugly things about people who do things I don’t like. I’m working on that, too. So, the next time an ugly judgment comes to mind, quickly find something nice to think about that person. If you are really ready for a challenge, say the nice thing to their face. Don’t make it sugary or over the top, though, or it will come off as fake. Especially, those of you in the South…bless your heart should not precede your compliment!